


Little Hotel of Horrors

by ETNMystic



Series: Mystic's Original Works (Possibly Transferred From My Other Accounts On Other Writing Sites) [12]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Advertising, Comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:00:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24017890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ETNMystic/pseuds/ETNMystic
Summary: Just a funny little thing I once wrote for a contest.READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION.
Series: Mystic's Original Works (Possibly Transferred From My Other Accounts On Other Writing Sites) [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1726699
Comments: 1
Kudos: 2





	Little Hotel of Horrors

Are you looking for a relaxing, yet memorable place to stay while on vacation? Do you just want to get away from the fear of reality for a while? Then come book your stay at the luxurious, and highly infamous, Hotel of Horrors! You can stay for as many nights as you survive at the inexpensive price of, not $19.99, not $29.99, not even $49.99, but $999,999.98, plus two cents tax.

Hotel of Horrors has many fun and safe activities for you to enjoy. You can play Hide-And-Go-Die at our gymnasium, purely run by brain-hungry zombies! Or you can come to our Spirit Show every Friday night, where you'll have a chance to be possessed by many ghosts, such as Al Capone, Jack the Ripper, and Albert Fish!

And there's no need to worry about health care and medical service! We have some of the best vampire doctors in the world. Come schedule an appointment with them and they'll suck all of the bad blood out of you, if not all of your blood.

Come sleep in our luxurious suites. Each suite comes with its own hungry ghost, creaky floors, and blood-thirsty vampire bats, guaranteeing you a good night's rest........ forever.

And that's not all! Our hotel comes with its own working elevators. They run up to deathly speeds of 999 miles per hour. It's like the Tower of Terror, but with more terror!

But wait! If you book your stay in the next four weeks, we'll throw in a monster under your bed absolutely free. And if that isn't enough for you, then we'll throw you in...... to a pit of hungry lions for no extra charge. Can it get any better than that?

Yes, it can! Because if you book your stay in the next six weeks, we'll throw in a free brewing class session, where you get to be the guinea pig for potions that do who-knows-what, made by inexperienced witches!

But wait! There's more! Make a reservation right now and well throw in inedible gruel with a side of brains and a Bloody Mary for every meal free! At the Hotel of Horrors, you're sure to have a safe and fun time.... forever.

To book your stay, call 1-800-DEATHE That's 1-800-451-2085. Be sure to have the number and address for your local morgue when you call.

**Hotel of Horrors is not responsible for any physical/emotional injuries, diseases, irreversible potion effects, irreversible possessions, permanent hypnosis, blood loss, lack of brains, physical/emotional trauma, or death that you experience before, during, and/or after your stay. Before your stay, you must sign a waiver/death contract and present your will at the front desk.**

**Author's Note:**

> I'll even throw Kerrie in for free.


End file.
